Dana Russian: You know, I just wouldn't worry about it too much. What I've found is that other parents can be defensive, and what he probably 'heard' you say was that you are a better parent because you are being more protective of your child. I KNOW that this is NOT what you meant!! I have learned to be very, very careful of how I talk about hsing, because it can offend people and make them think I am saying I am more concerned with my kids' welfare than they are with theirs. If it comes up again, and it 'might' if you do decide to homeschool, then what you can say is something like you are so glad that their son is enjoying the school he attends, and we all choose what is best for our children, and this is what is best for your children right now, but you do realize that hsing is not for everybody. I usually tell people, if it even comes up, that when my kids reached school age we were in an area in which little English was spoken, so the schools were waaay behind be! cause most of the kids could not speak English when they started kindergarten, so that's why we started hsing. And even though we've moved since then, it was working out so well for our family and we were so happy that we just continued doing it. This has proved to be very non-offensive to people....Show more
Thurman Buege: I would not spend any time on the issue, since you and your husband should not base your decision to home school, or not to home school on what other people think, or how they feel about it.You, and your husband should do what you think is best for your family, some of your friends may come around, others will not.Spending time on this will take away your focus on what it is you feel called to do; home school your children.Let Scripture, and your love for your children be your guide.Surround yourself at this time with those who will offer support and guidance, and pray for those who do not.Blessings, and good luck....Show more
Malcom Bourek:! You mentioned that the neighbor's child goes to the school, a! s well as before and after school programs. Sounds to me like he's defensive about his own inability to raise his child himself. Granted, not all of us are lucky enough to be able to stay home with our kids instead of working outside the home all day, but what kind of family really needs both parents working more than 8 hours on a regular basis? Both parents working while the kids are at school is fine, but having the school raise your kids while you're out chasing a dollar is not parenting....Show more
Rebeca Mckin:
Troy Monsivais: Do not go to Joe's website. It will put malware on your computer. He is spamming and has been reported several times.
Glynda Darrin: my son & I were at the store today, & they asked how come he's not in school. My reply was, his school dosnt start until 9-1-08. But, I told them besides he's homeschooled! The lady turned to me, & said, Oh, God, your 1 of those "stupid" parents! I was so pissed off, & said I'm not stupid, I ju! st chose to know my child is learning something, instead of sitting in a classroom, being passed over becuase theres more then 1 child in a room, & the teachers feel overwhelmed because they dont have a clue what theyre doing!! So the lady follwed me out to my car, & said you know! Im a "REAL" teacher, with a degree, wheres yours? It took eveyrthing I had NOT to smack her!When I got in my car, she got pissed off, & told me she was talking to me! Thats when I told her, No thats not talking to me, thats putting me down, & as far as Im concerend I wasnt asking for your opinion at all! So when I thought all was done with, my son & I went to another store to pick something up, & I'll be damned if that same lady didnt follow me, & parked beside me, & was once again telling me off. It got to the point someone saw her going off on me & called the police. When the police got there, they basically told the lady to get off her rocking horse, & leave me & my child alone!!!! What the he! ll do others care how I raise my child, & how I feel about shcooling my! child? The way I see it atleast hes getting a education!I dotncare for the public schools here for us,& we deciced to take his education in our hands! ...Show more
Brittney Inabnit: There is no single way to deal with other people. This neighbor is an individual, with his own prejudices and fears.Do you know precisely what those prejudices and fears are? He's worried about socialization, that's one thing. Are there other concerns?The best way to deal with this neighbor might be to listen! Ask him questions about his opinions, where he'd gotten his information. Maybe he'll have some important insights that will help you design your home schooling to provide a better experience for your kids. If not, by listening and showing respect for his opinions, you stand a chance of softening his objections....Show more
Patrica Loertscher: You can't worry about what other people decide is best for their kids. Every situation is different and everyone has different bel! iefs.I personally think homeschooling is a much better option than the public school system but you can't expect everyone to have the same thoughts as you or me.
Oren Eskelsen: Sorry, yet you're able to desire to have parental consent because of the fact your mom and dad are going to play a place on your homeschooling. There could be yet another selection - correspondence courses. those are greater of an self reliant study software.yet while your mom isn't an extremely friendly guy or woman to communicate to, WHY do you elect to spend all day at abode together with her? And working from a social situation does not resolve something. think of regarding the way you're able to desire to make your ideas up on that situation, in the previous you bypass to the severe of chucking up the sponge of faculty....Show more
Bryant Pillitteri: I usually try to look at other person's point of view, as it seems you are trying to do. For the neighbor to feel so strongly about yo! ur idea of home school, he must have lots of issues. I have had people! give me 'jabs'. It hurts, especially when the person who is 'jabbing' has no idea of my convictions nor even what home school means. It would be easy to come back with nasty comment, but I usually just smile and think of my son. It is comforting to me to know that he is learning in a curriculum tailored for him, taught in his learning style, at his pace, in the comfort of home. The ratio of teacher to student in our home is 2:1 with the 2 being teachers and 1 being student. He has after study hours for friends, activities, sports, skills, etc.Sorry, I got on my soap box there, but it is absolutely useless to explain this to any one who has their minds set on the myth that public schools are the best way for all students to learn....Show more
Madie Strople: How difficult for you! You had probably expected some sort of support, at least understanding, and he gave a completely unexpected reaction.I guess the first thing to do would be to simply accept his ignorance! . Instead of feeling attacked, try to have some pity on his incorrect views. What may have felt like criticism was incorrect judgment on his part.Second thing is know that you don't have to defend yourself. If he has different opinions, so be it (first step); you don't have to try to prove your side to him. He may have even just been really surprised or felt threatened by the fact that he's happy having his kids at that school and you aren't. Some people, for whatever reason, think that our decision to homeschool means we're putting down their decision to not homeschool.Just give it time, he may cool down. If he doesn't, find convenient ways to change the conversation or simply say, "I hear what you're saying" and paraphrase what he's said. You don't have to agree with him, but sometimes people just want to be heard and don't necessarily need to reach an agreement....Show more
Jonie Lauria: The best answer is very often the difference they see in your children once yo! u do start homeschooling!
Lia Argall: As others have said, you ar! e going to get this ALOT!It is hard not to feel sad or even mad at the people who say these things to you. I know that I have lashed back at people who make rude comments and have felt really bad about it later. There are many things that you can say or do.I personally, as a Christian myself, have had to learn to try to see past the lack of knowledge when it comes to people who want to be rude about our having decided to homeschool. Myself, next time I saw my neighbor, would say to him * I am sorry that you think what we are doing for our children is selfish , but this is what we have decided to do for our family. You could always then say to him ( if you are willing to talk to him again)*If you have concerns "as a friend", we would be more than happy to sit down and have a discussion with you about it* I would then listen to his concerns and answer them in as best you can.If his *concerns* only have to do with socialization issues, gently let him know that you and your hus! band have already looked into the matter and are going to make sure your children have plenty of real life socialization. ( things like you are looking into support groups as well as co-op classes with other homeschoolers, maybe 4-H, scouts, dance, community sports, etc)here is a good one to read about the *socialization* issuehttp://www.tnhomeed.com/LRSocial.htmlI hope that things work out for you in that your neighbor will come to see that what you and your husband do is in the best interest of your family . No matter what the *outcome* with him, look to the future and enjoy your new *adventure* with your kids!Welcome to homeschooling!yahoo or google for local homeschool groups. They can be great resourses for you when you find one....Show more
Bryant Chaudhry: Hello,I'm sorry for the mishap, but you'll get over it eventually. What you can do is the following:-Explain that homeschooled kids have much more self-confidence (shown by tests) in the long-run and through ! life than regular school students.-Explain that everyone has their own ! opinion.-Talk to your kid, and then respond accordingly. Then explain to your neighbor what the kid says.*After all, this is about the kids.*-Homeschooled kids do have social interaction, but they don't get it to the extent of being "taught" inappropriate things at school.-Try to get them to go out and talk to your neighbor. See how they are treated.It may have been a bad day of his;give it a few more days, dont ponder over this, but talk to him after you have gathered all of the above "facts."Thanks for asking! Hope this helps.=) Good luck....Show more
Jon Bergmeier: I home school my 16 year old. It works for us. He is a very social person, people make to much of the social angle. I am glad I home school but it isn't for everyone. Good luck and forget what your neighbors think and think about your children.
Marielle Hedeiros: I have had that reaction a few times, and when I get that kind of rude reaction, the person often seems to be feeling guilt. I wonder if ! he feels some guilt about having his son in school and before and after school; that sounds like a lot of hours. I think some of his reaction may have been feeling guilt about all the hours his son is in school and day care, and nothing to do with your choice, other than that your decision makes him question and/or feel guilt that he has his son in school/day care for many hours a day. I wouldn't even bother trying to convince him about the positives of homeschooling. I am sure he realizes these at some level, and I think you might just further antagonize him. I would just homeschool your children and let him see how happy, healthy, and smart they will be....Show more
Foster Koopmann: hey well I live in New Jersey im going to be sophomore this year and i really want to be home school but I don't know how. I suffer from migraine and is really hard to concentrate at school, please help me and tell me what to do should i talk to my guidance counselor and tell her that it! is really hard to concentrate at school with this problem or should my! mom go and talk to the school or what? Please help me I really want to be home-schooled please tell me what I should say to my school.5 star to the right answer thanks :)...Show more
Lucien Hellerman: Not sure what the laws are around home schooling in NJ but you should be able to find them online or find a fb group for your area & ask thereOnce you know whats involved you could talk to your mom and see if she thinks she can cope with her side of it (or if you can do most of it with her just signing off on what you arrange) Do you know what you want to do in the future for a career? If so have a look at what you will need to achieve that & have some ideas lined up for when you talk to your mom so she understands you are serious. The migraines may be linked to your hormones at your age so the problem may pass or you could see if your doctor has any advice to make managing them better if there was anything then you could perhaps talk to the guidance counsellor about wa! ys they could be flexible so you could stay in school if you'd prefer....Show more
Lavelle Viveiros: 1. Focus and surround yourself with your positive Christian friends. They will pass on their positive energy to you giving you strength.2. Talk it out with someone you trust. If your a Christian I would talk to God about it. He will always help you out.3. Realize that people will always tell you that kids are missing sociliazation and that your cheating them and all that other stuff. Ignore it and focus on that you want to give your kids a superior education. 4. If you decide to homeschool, find a homeschool group in your area. These groups usually have activities so you can meet other people like yourself. As for your friend, I would pray about it and expect them to be very downcast on your possibility of homeschooling. I know I might sound mean or something like that, but I have been doing this for 11 years and until the last few years lots of people including my ow! n family have been down on it until they realized that I came out alrig! ht from homeschooling.Hope this helps....Show more
Tereasa Sorensen: Try not to be combative with him. Keep communications open and ask him if he would like to see the research you have done on Home schooling. I am assuming of course that's what you are doing. There are many studies out there that prove home schooling works. Be polite and let him know you respect his decision to send his kids to school. In time, I am sure your family will serve as an example that home schooling is great!
Gwenda Micheals: As you HS more and more, you'll get a thicker skin about this.In this case, here is my input....I believe your neighbor feels as if you're putting *him* down for his choice to keep his kids in the school. Perhaps he knows the problems but doesn't want to admit to them. Many non-HS'ers see HS'ers as a threat. They know nothing about it most of the time. *Anyone* who brings up the "S" word is sooooooo uninformed about it!!!It sounds like your neighbors aren't ! very involved in their children's lives anyway. How many hours a day do they really see them? If they are in a before and after school program, then the kids and parents are separated for 10-12 hours a day!!! Perhaps he's a bit jealous that you *could* choose it - it sounds like both parents work.You are the ***farthest*** thing from being selfish. Trust me on this. It takes a very dedicated, unselfish, committed parent(s) to HS!!!I wouldn't say anything to him or his wife at this point. I would again pray about it and ask God to open doors for you :-). In time, they will see how well your kids are thriving being HS'ed....Show more
Samara Siewers: This will happen. You get a thick skin soon enough. What others think really never mattered much to me. I try to remind myself to pray for them so they see how rude they were and decide to get over their ignorance. When my forked tongue does pop out I usually remind them how advanced my daughter is or ask why my kid c! an get their work done by noon and public school takes 3 hours longer, ! plus homework.Yes, that is rude, but they were rude to begin with. I usually try to hold my tongue though.In your case you could have your child go yell at his kids "I am going to kill you" Then you can tell him that is what he learned at public school with all the social kids!...Show more
Marvella Benward: People oppose homeschooling for all sorts of reasons. Some might actually be concerned about the quality of education but most have an agenda. Many criticize homeschooling based on ignorance. People think they know what homeschooling is, based on what they have been told, what they have read in the newspaper or what they have seen on tv. They typically hear or read negative things and form negative opinions on homeschooling. Of course, good news doesn't sell newspapers or drive tv ratings so we typically see the few abuses of homeschooling coming from these outlets. Also, people are naturally conformists and are threatened by things that are different and people ! who are willing to blaze a new path. Even though homeschooling is not new and was actually the primary way to educate kids in the early years of our country, it is now seen as new and very different from the norm. People are not comfortable with this. It is foreign to them. They feel threatened by it and as a result feel the need to criticize it.Lastly, people like the teacher who opposes homeschooling do so because it threatens the power base of the educational establishment. The NEA has issued policy statements against homeschooling. They feel threatened by a bunch of "untrained non-professional teachers" who do a better job than public school teachers who are the supposed trained professionals. The vast majority of teachers are critical of homeschoolers based on this bias and/or their "vast" experience with a couple of homeschoolers who didn't measure up in their eyes. Odds are you are related to, are friends with or live near a teacher, administrator or someone else in ! the educational field. It is a massive field which is expanding at an e! xponential rate, mainly in the rank of overpaid administrators. Few of them have a kind word to say about homeschooling, which they see as the competition. It must be humiliating to be a "trained professional" and be outdone by the untrained parents.Homeschoolers outperform both public and private schooled kids on standardized tests. This is despite the fact that many public school classes have become glorified test prep courses. If you value your relationship with this person, you can try to engage them again in a conversation and try to educate them on the benefits of homeschooling. They will likely not listen, but it is worth a try. Expect to lose a friend if you do homeschool your kids. Fortunately, you will likely make many new friends with similar values who will support your decision and help you to succeed.My wife had to convince me homeschooling was a good idea. I am now a huge supporter of it as well as being a chapter co-group leader with her. Do it. It's n! ot easy, but you will not regret it....Show more
Lyndon Mattas: Just sluff it off, it's an ego thing. That person OBVIOUSLY feels so inferior to a teacher than they feel they have nothing to offer.That's a very sad state of affairs. A person who feels they have NOTHING to offer their child's mind, so they invented lame excuses to justify it.Homeschooling is not easy and not cheap and requires strong parental participation.Now, if you intend for them to go to college you can't let your own brick walls get into the way. They need a complete background in science, math, the arts, history and English.The point I'm making is you're going to have to let them learn Darwin, you can state your own points of view on the matter, but if they don't know it by college, they will have problems and not be able to adjust to college thinking.So, don't fall into the same trap as your neighbor. Unless of course you don't want them in college, in which case they just need enough to re! ad, write, do their taxes without H&R Block's help.I mention that becau! se you mention religion and some people do homeschooling to avoid educational issues they are at odds with. These issues ONLY apply those desiring to go on to college, they certainly aren't required for a simple high school education. Harvard and Yale were both religiouisly founded and they teach modern Cosmology that the universe is 14 billion years old, the Earth is 5, billion, there were dinosaours, evoution is a theory, genitics is a theory. They also have the best theology programs and turn out excellent ministers and priests. YOu don't have to buy into concepts, but you do have to learn them, acknowledge that others buy into them and provide answers accordingly to survive the college experience and get a degree.The student in a science course who writes down the universe is 6,000 years old will get a bad grade. The student that says, I beleive it's 6,000 but I know you don't so I'll put down the answer you want to see, will get an A and get their degree.That is ho! w the world works....Show more
Noah Deni: I can tell you this, your neighbor's reaction is only one of many more to come. I do believe in my heart that people feel threatened by others who homeschool. I cannot tell you how many friends, acquaintances, and strangers have said to me "Oh, I couldn't do that. I don't have the time or patience." They react as though I am saying to them that this is what they need to be doing themselves when in actuality my thoughts or feelings on homeschooling NEVER have to do with them. Not once does the idea ever cross my mind that the other person should follow my example. Homeschooling demands so much from a family and is a decision that should be made without anyone's influence (negative or otherwise). Your neighbor probably felt insulted that you would be pulling your kids out of the very school his children attend. His thought was probably something like their school isn't good enough for you. Let this be a lesson though, yo! u will always encounter people who disagree with homeschooling so if th! is is a decision you plan to pursue be strong and brave enough to continue regardless of what others say. However, the first person you need to convince is yourself. Do some self examining before taking on this major task because while it is very rewarding to say the least, it does take a lot of dedication, planning, organizational skills, and commitment on your part and that of your family. I wish you the best regardless of what you decide to do about your children's education. :)...Show more
Alberto Kozub: Hmm I'm sorry to hear that. Is he not a Christian or something? I am kind of baffled as to what that had to do with anything. Anyway ...You never know.. maybe he's jealous of your choice? Some people secretly would love to be able to homeschool, but are afraid to step out of the box like that. Perhaps he has never encountered homeschooling before, has been influenced by stereotypes, and was shocked? Maybe give him some time and he'll come around. If not! , it is sad but doesn't really matter in the end. You and your husband are the ones making the decision.At least you have the support of your friends :)edit: I wasn't at all offended! I was just curious. :) Sorry I gave the wrong impression.Hope your neighbor has relaxed a bit!...Show more
William Vickerman: Lunazen--I can totally see why you are asking about my saying that my Christian Friends... I didn't mean any harm by it AT ALL. What I was just saying was that my Church friends are all supportive because they seem to know a lot of people who have hs. It seems to be much more common among Christians. I, in NO WAY meant to offend you. I can see how it came off that way. I apologize.....Show more
Luana Carothers: Lauren, you probably have viruses and adware on your computer now. Please download some antivirus and anti-malware software and get it off your computer NOW.I use AVG, a lot of people do. I linked their site below, specifically the "free downlo! ad" page.
Brian Freedland: I just listen and nod. There is negati! ve stigma about homeschooling, I wanted to take my son out of regular school when he was in kindergarten. My son was counting to 100 when he was in preschool and when he got to kindergarten it was not what I expected. Each child learns differently and my son has been homeschooled for two years now. Don't worry about your neighbors or your friends, when your child is flourishing it will show enough. Think, it is not selfish to homeschool it takes a lot more energy time and creativity to teach your children at home. Its easy to just send your child to school and put them in before and after school programs. It seems more like your neighbors are selfish. Their children spend more time away from them in a week than with them. That's what is sad and selfish, don't you think?...Show more
Dalia Causby: Hello,I agree with the others here that say that it's possible that your neighbor feels that you will judge him for not homeschooling his children. I have a friend who decide! d to homeschool this past year (after seeing me do it). She has a friend who is constantly making negative comments about homeschooling, or throws out the "I could never do it!" comments that I think all homeschoolers hear (it makes me sad that some parents truly have so little belief in themselves; would they say this about any other childcare need or issue- that they "just can't" do it?). My friend thinks that her friend feels like SHE is being judged for not homeschooling her children. My friend could care less! She loves her friend, and respects her choice to send them to the public school, period. But, this is what we sometimes get- the parents that somehow think we judge them for NOT homeschooling. I would ignore the neighbor. He can either "get with it", or lose you as a friend. You could try reminding him that it's usually considered discrimination to make negative comments about a person's religion, lifestyle choice, or belief system. Homeschooling is a li! festyle/belief system, and a personal choice. He can not like it all h! e wants, but he doesn't have the right to discriminate against you as a person- and speak to you in such disrespect- because of your (if you choose to homeschool) belief system. This is like the "professor" in another question in this forum, who stated that he will fail any homeschooler that he has in his college class. That is not only immoral and dishonest, but it is actually illegal, and certainly if he really IS doing that, he could (and should) lose his job....Show more
Sammy Hatzenbihler: Omg, Tammy, what an experience! I don't know what I would have done in that situation but I think you handled it well.What does she care? She probably has some background issues with homeschooling and takes the whole thing personally. There are, unfortunately, people out there who think that homeschooling our kids means we are personally attacking them. I remember being in a local parenting forum where the homeschooling parents could barely say anything about homeschooling wi! thout a non-homeschooling parent jumping on them. It was absolutely ridiculous. Someone could ask parents what they chose as a school program for their kids (we have a gazillion different programs through the schools here) and somebody might say we did this and that then chose to homeschool and one person would go off on how the poster didn't ask about homeschooling so stop flaunting or trying to get people to change. All kinds of things sent people off into defensive mode, some almost as bad as the lady you encountered. It's a self-centred type of living where things they disagree with are seen as personal attacks; because they feel attacked, they attack back. It doesn't make any logical sense whatsoever, but we're talking emotions and self-concept here, not logic....Show more
Debora Soliani: Girl Friend let me tell you what, ( I was in your situation so I know) You homeschool your child(ren) if thats what YOU want to do. Your family comes first, not your ignorant ne! ighbor. That old stand by " what about socialazation deal" is so untrue! . Please find some support groups in your area and online to help you find the homeschooling style thats right for YOU and your family. I LOVE homeschooling. I'm sure your christian friends support your decision, but I just wanted to let you know you can also find a secular homeschooling curriculm and support group. Do what is right for your family.And about being unsocialized, my son is the most outgoing person I know, I see it with my own eyes, he asks other kids to play all the time and they say no or some other mean comment. Whos unsocialized now. there is so much information on the net about hs, please find a support group thats right for you.It'll all be goodMelissayahoo has a great secular homeschooling group...Show more
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